The Challenge Of Being The Perfect Patriarch - or -
Just Good 'Ole' Dad
INTRO: Last week I preached the message "Reaping What We Sow, or Consequences Of Our Life." In life there is maybe no other area that this is true in raising a family. In life, fathers are extremely important. I, personally do not see them as the glue that holds the family together, but as the post that the family can hold onto in life.
Statistics tells us that in fatherless homes, children are more likely to commit suicide, have subjective psychological problem (defined as anxiety, sadness, pronounced moodiness, phobias, and depression), poor grades and reduced performance as far as reaching their potential, and aggression towards parents. There is also statistics that show a higher incidence in alcohol and drugs where an early divorce was in the home. Divorce also shows up in teenagers in the form of lower self-esteem, early sexual activity, juvenile delinquency, and teenage pregnancy.
So we can see that children without fathers suffer. Even after adjusting the data to statistically eliminate economic differences, children with single parents were still twice as likely to have psychiatric disorders, attempt suicide, and abuse alcohol, and three to four times more likely to use narcotic drugs.
It is my hope today, to challenge you to make a difference in you children and their children's lives.
There are many dads in God's Word that we can examine. Many good godly men were poor fathers. Abraham even struggled early on. Isaac so full of favoritism failed his sons. Jacob with all his 12 sons and daughters helped them inherit his shortcomings in life. David, a man after God's own heart, failed as a father. There are many more.
Share the story of David's showdown with his son Absalom and events leading up to this.
I want to read from 2 Samuel 18:19-33
2 Samuel 18:19 - 3319Then said Ahimaaz the son of Zadok, Let me now run, and bear the king tidings, how that the LORD hath avenged him of his enemies. 20And Joab said unto him, Thou shalt not bear tidings this day, but thou shalt bear tidings another day: but this day thou shalt bear no tidings, because the king’s son is dead. 21Then said Joab to Cushi, Go tell the king what thou hast seen. And Cushi bowed himself unto Joab, and ran. 22Then said Ahimaaz the son of Zadok yet again to Joab, But howsoever, let me, I pray thee, also run after Cushi. And Joab said, Wherefore wilt thou run, my son, seeing that thou hast no tidings ready? 23But howsoever, said he, let me run. And he said unto him, Run. Then Ahimaaz ran by the way of the plain, and overran Cushi. 24And David sat between the two gates: and the watchman went up to the roof over the gate unto the wall, and lifted up his eyes, and looked, and behold a man running alone. 25And the watchman cried, and told the king. And the king said, If he be alone, there is tidings in his mouth. And he came apace, and drew near. 26And the watchman saw another man running: and the watchman called unto the porter, and said, Behold another man running alone. And the king said, He also bringeth tidings. 27And the watchman said, Me thinketh the running of the foremost is like the running of Ahimaaz the son of Zadok. And the king said, He is a good man, and cometh with good tidings. 28And Ahimaaz called, and said unto the king, All is well. And he fell down to the earth upon his face before the king, and said, Blessed be the LORD thy God, which hath delivered up the men that lifted up their hand against my lord the king. 29And the king said, Is the young man Absalom safe? And Ahimaaz answered, When Joab sent the king’s servant, and me thy servant, I saw a great tumult, but I knew not what it was. 30And the king said unto him, Turn aside, and stand here. And he turned aside, and stood still. 31And, behold, Cushi came; and Cushi said, Tidings, my lord the king: for the LORD hath avenged thee this day of all them that rose up against thee. 32And the king said unto Cushi, Is the young man Absalom safe? And Cushi answered, The enemies of my lord the king, and all that rise against thee to do thee hurt, be as that young man is. 33And the king was much moved, and went up to the chamber over the gate, and wept: and as he went, thus he said, O my son Absalom, my son, my son Absalom! would God I had died for thee, O Absalom, my son, my son!
Why did David fall so short for his family?
He was too busy with his job?
He divided his attention to several households.
He trusted others to do his job for him.
He let pride hinder his judgment
He failed to show his love through wise discipline
Prioritize family. Place them high in life - not necessarily first (Christ and wife).
Not your pursuits, not your aspirations, not you lofty goals, but their needs.
Provide financially to feed, shelter, clothe, educate and nurture your family.
Take care of you family and their needs
Pray fervently for your children and their spiritual condition and relationship with the Christ.
Be in the position you can pray for them
Protect fearlessly the lives of your loved ones from all forms of harm (not just physical).
Look out for your family. Don't overlook all areas of attack. Watch out for the example you set before them.
Praise favorably all (or any even close to) accomplishments in life and encourage more.
Let them know you are behind them.
Let them know they are special to you.
Let them know you notice.
Play frequently in the memories of your children's everyday lives. USE ILL. 73
Build the memories your children have while you can
Portray fastidiously (daily and consistently with great care) the love of Christ in your life.
Know Christ
Love Christ
Serve Christ
Share Christ
Live Christ (no hypocrisy)
Participate fully in the lives of your family - not just as a starter, but as a sparkplug (used for everything).
Don't be on the fringes, just the surface, but be part of your families' lives all the way
Plan faithfully for your children's spiritual growth (like a farmer).
Just like a farmer, you clear the land, plant the seed, water and feed the seed, keep away the weeds. God will take care of the rest.
Introduce them to Jesus and the love He has
Sing "Jesus Loves Me" (Steve)
Know this Jesus personally
Tell them of His love
Lift up the Name of Jesus
Take them to church
Love the work of Jesus
Show them of His love
Show the happiness only His love can bring
Church them at home
Support the work of Jesus
Protect His love for them
Lift up the work of Jesus (Don't bad mouth all of its workers)
Promote the work of Jesus
Take part in the work of Jesus
Ephesians 6:1-4 1Children, obey your parents in the Lord: for this is right. 2Honour thy father and mother; (which is the first commandment with promise;) 3That it may be well with thee, and thou mayest live long on the earth. 4And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.
Gary Marcum - New Beginnings Church - 061905am